Big ‘B’ Words
Busy..Balance & Break-Ups
The struggle for balance is way too real. Its in constant competition with that other big 'B word' that harasses me nonstop like a blood sucking leech. Saps all my energy. Drains all my joy. Hijacks my days. Y'all know who Im talking about. The biggest B... BUSY !!
I can never get a handle on my life because of this B. As much as I try to manhandle the madness away.. somehow, this B continues to find me; working ten hour days, meetings, ministry, being a wife who cooks and cleans, a friend who has time to listen and hang out. I've been lacking in all these departments- I haven't been 100 percent, heck 80 percent present for any of these roles and it haunts me. In some ways busy is good BUT I much prefer BALANCE. I really don't want to keep professing “Im busy.” To keep stealing time for small moments with the ones I love. Busy is not a badge of honor for me.
Factor in this other B-Blogging and the whole balancing acts balloons out of control. Needless to say im not quitting. Im just saying👏🏾 blogging 👏🏾aint 👏🏾easy y’all . Okurrrrr. Shout out to all the bloggers out there who make it look that way. Branding ,creating content, taking photos - juggling it all and making it look fab while doing so - much props ladies (and gents)!
Fortunately, at least for now, I’m not a mother because then I’d be battling to balance another b- Babies- and bottles, bibs, blankets and bedtime and basically carrying the responsibility of blooming a life would be way too much for my brain to bare.
Ideally I'd love to blow the whole gasket from under Busy but then I'd be the Scariest ‘B’ of them all - BROKE - And ain't nobody got time for that !!
So as much as this pains me , I know things won’t even begin to get better unless I leave you this letter :
Dear Mr. Busy,
I’m ending our relationship. I have no place for you in my life anymore. It’s not you, its me .. Sounds cliché but Really, IT’S ME! My peace depends on me ending this... us .... we ... cannot be. I have to say goodbye so that I can begin to find BALANCE !